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F**k Off Friday !! CHRISTMAS EDITION !! – Blogmas #8

WARNING: There’s strong sweary language in this post. Just in case you didn’t work it out from the title.

Some of you may remember that back as part of blogtober I did a post called Fuck Off Friday. You can read it here if you’re interested. Long story short it was a blog post summing up everything that had pissed me off that week. Everything I was totally over and that I could do with just, you know, fucking off. It ended up being one of the most popular posts on my blog to date.

So here we are again. Another month of blogging and a whole other list of the things that have wound me the fuck up recently. As it’s blogmas, this is gonna essentially be the Christmas edition.

Magic Monster

But Charlotte, what the fuck is a magic monster? Well Internet, I’m glad you asked. These are the adult arseholes that go around ruining the Christmas magic for children everywhere. FOR NO FUCKING REASON except, I dunno, maybe someone did the same to them when they were younger. Or, you know, they’re just shitty people. The guy in sports direct who declared to an eight year old that Santa was dead and called him an idiot for believing. The person shouting outside a toy store that Santa isn’t real, telling them to ask their parents. Kids are only young once. Enjoy it and let them be kids. Sure one day they’ll stop believing but in their own time. Adults shouldn’t ruin the innocence and magic of this time of year for their own selfish reasons.

Christmas Tree Snobbery.

Real or fake. Ten foot or two. Green, pink or white. It doesn’t really matter and a lot of it is down to personal preference and individual circumstances. For instance an eight foot real tree probably isn’t practical for a studio apartment on the sixteenth floor. However every year everyone feels the need to show off their trees online, (I did a whole blog post) getting slightly braggy and competitive over the height, colour and decorations. Just letting y’all know that it doesn’t matter if you think someone else’s tree looks shit, or it isn’t decorated to your tastes / standards. If it isn’t in your home. Just mind your fucking own.

Perfect parents

Susan, one of the admin in your most visited Facebook mums group, just loves to let everyone know at every opportunity she gets, that she’s basically mum of the year at this point. If Christmas was an Olympic sport, she’d win gold. Susan will be front row and way too over enthusiastic at the kids nativity. Her child will get a lead part, of course. A photo will appear on your news feed of all her little darlings prezzies under the tree where she’ll ask if spending over a grand on little Avacados thirty-seven presents is enough. Susan will spend weekend evenings creating paper snowflakes and decorations with her youngest two whilst also baking the most amazing Christmas cake. The rest of us are just trying to survive until Christmas, not ruin the magic for the kids and not forget something. Susan is hated mainly out of jealousy. Plus according to this rant she named one of her precious crotch fruit Avacado, soooo……

Chocolate thieves

Everytime they walk past the tree a chocolate decoration disappears. Eventually you’ll reach into the tub of celebrations to be confronted with Snickers, Bountys and empty wrappers. Every year you’ll buy more chocolate to try and counter act the thief. Every year you’ll end up angry.

Technical difficulties

When you’ve bought an awesome gift for someone but as soon as they open it you realise it can’t actually be used yet. It needs charging. It’s impossible to get out the packaging. It needs batteries. It’s still got the security tag on. So fucking annoying!

This post was most definitely kinda ranty and positively one of the worst for being grammatically correct. #sorrynotsorry

Hope you enjoyed

Charlotte

xxx

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That’s a cracker – Blogmas #7

One of the best parts of Christmas Day is that moment at lunchtime when everyone pulls open a cracker, sticks on a flimsy paper hat, argues over the best cracker prize and starts telling some absolutely dire joke found inside.

In celebration of these pieces of hilarious comedic genius, *eye roll* I’ve rounded up 10 of my favourite in this quick post. Perfects for breaking any awkward silences or when your selfish idiot of a brother reads out your joke before you. Why do they put the same joke more than once, in THE SAME box of crackers ??!!

Prepare yourself ………..

Why was the turkey chosen for the band? He bought his own drumsticks

How will Christmas dinner change after Brexit? No Brussels

What did Santa do at speed dating? He pulled a cracker !

Why are Christmas trees so bad a knitting? They’re always dropping their needles

Why did the skeleton miss the party? He had no body to go with

Why did Sant quit smoking? It was bad for his elf

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire ? Frostbite

Which athlete is the warmest during winter? A long jumper

What did the snowman say to the angry carrot? Get out of my face !!

What happened to the advent calendar thief? He got 25 days

Let me know your best Christmas cracker or dad joke.

Charlotte

xxx

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”Tis the season to be lonely – Blogmas #6

Yesterday I mentioned, right at the end of my tag post, a little about how hard this time of year could be for some people.

While the majority of us are in shop till we drop mode, preparing to stuff our faces and gearing ourselves up for the endless stream of visiting family / friends. It’s important to remember that not everyone is fortunate enough to have a happy holiday.

Wether due to losing a partner, not having family, illness or homelessness, so many will wake up Christmas morning alone. So many will go without the hot meal that so many of us look forward to.

Please look out for elderly family members, neighbours that may be on their own. Take a few hours out of your own festive fun to make sure others are having a good day too. I honestly can’t think of anything worse than being on my own at this time of year. Luckily I’ve such a big close family that sometimes the chance to be alone would be a fine thing.

If you’re on your own this Christmas, maybe check what’s on in your local area. You could arrange to meet up with someone else who’s alone. Check out local church or community groups for a hot lunch or consider volunteering.

If you’re really struggling and need someone to talk to. The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day 365 days a year.

www.samaritans.org

Or call 116 123 (UK and ROI)

I hope everyone has a happy holiday, whatever your situation.

Charlotte

xxx

Uncategorized

A Christmas Tag – Blogmas #5

What would blogmas be without a good old tag post? Obviously considering the time of year of course all the questions are Christmas based. Let’s go……

 Use one noise to describe how you feel about Christmas 

Eeeeek

Do you open any presents on Christmas Eve?

Nope…. 8am Christmas Day

Do you have a holiday tradition that you’re most looking forward to?

Picking out the Christmas tree !! It’s something I look forward to every year. You can read about it in Blogmas day 3

Is your Christmas tree real or fake?

100% real

Where do you spend the holidays?

With family

Have you got a favourite Christmas film?

I have a top 3 of my favourite Xmas films

  1. The Nightmare Before Christmas (a slightly controversial choice I know)
  2. The Grinch
  3. Elf

Have you a favourite Christmas song?

Rockin around the Christmas tree

Your favourite Christmas sweet treat?

Im a big mince pie lover for sure

When do you start getting excited for Christmas?

December 1st !! My brothers birthday is right at the end of November so it’s always been a rule to not mention it until after his birthday.

What’s the best Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

Ive had some amazing gifts over the years. It’d be hard to pick just one.

What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received?

No comment haha. What if the person who gave it to me reads this?

Has a brother or sister ever received a gift that you wished you’d got instead?

I’ve always been to wrapped up in my own presents to take much notice of other peoples.

Honestly do you prefer to give or receive at christmas?

I love to do the Christmas shopping and then watch for people’s reactions as they open the gift. Of course I’d be lying if I said receiving a present or two wasn’t nice as well.

What would be your dream place to visit for the holiday season?

I can truely say I wouldn’t want to go away at Christmas. It’s a time of year for spending with family and loved ones. So really unless I could take everyone with me, my dream place is home.

Most memorable part of the holidays?

Picking out and decorating the tree is always pretty memorable.

What makes Christmas so special for you?

Just spending time with my favourite people, creating memories that’ll last a lifetime.

What’s one of your favourite bits about Christmas?

The food !!

If you had one Christmas wish what would it be?

That no one spends Christmas Day lonely. I honestly can’t think of anything worse. Unfortunately though it’s a reality for so many, especially the elderly.

Will you make any New Years Resolutions?

Nope not a chance. If you wish to make a change in life, do it because you really want to, not because it’s January 1st.

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If you guys do a Christmas tag, let me know so I can have a read.

Charlotte

xxx

 

 

 

 

 

chronic illness

Chronic Illness Gift Guide – Blogmas #4

Forever one to create original content, I’ve decided to jump on the bandwagon and create a gift guide. Not any old gift guide but one containing some idea for the chronically awesome chronically sick person in your life.

Before I dive straight into the list I really must stress that us ill folk have interests outside of, you know, being ill. So if you know them well enough it’s probably best to go down that route and choose a more personal present. This is just my top five safe bets I know I personally, as well as many other illness warriors would be happy to receive.

Pajamas

Speaking for myself. I’m 90% sure I own more PJs rather than actual clothes. At least I definitely feel like I wear them more often. A nice pair of pajamas is a lovely treat and not something people often think of buying for themselves. A pretty safe bet and a present that you can splurge on or still get on a budget.

Hot Water Bottle / Warmer

As the weather gets colder and being someone who suffers with random aches and pains, there’s nothing I love more than being tucked up cuddling a hot water bottle or warmer. Whether you prefer a traditional bottle you fill with hot water from the kettle, or a microwaveable teddy, there’s a wide variety of gift sets out in the shops at the moment. I’d recommend the noozie, a rechargeable heat pack that stays warmer for longer than a hot water bottle, is easy and quick to use.

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A gift card

This may not sound that interesting. However I love nothing more than internet shopping. It’s even better when somebody else is paying for it. Not only have you given someone the potential to buy exactly what they want for Christmas. You’ve also bought the gift of something to keep me entertained for a couple of hours.

Pillows / Cushions / Fairy Lights

I spend a lot of time in my bed, therefore it being comfy and cozy is really important to me. Who doesn’t love cute cushions and twinkling lights?

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Socks / Hats / Scarfs / Gloves

Us sick folk get cold. There’s tons of cute gift sets containing these items around. I can never have too many pairs of socks and you can guarantee that if I have to step outside in the less than warm months, I’m gonna be wrapped up in enough scarfs and cozy material, that I could quite easily be mistaken for a ski resort guest.

Let me know what you’ve asked for this Christmas

Charlotte

xxx

 

Uncategorized

Oh Christmas Tree – Blogmas #3

Every year we make the family outing to choose a Christmas tree. This years been no different. I feel like it was done a little earlier in december than usual, but the end result was a perfectly good tree bought slightly bigger than the room it was intended to go in, and requiring some good old saw action to cut it down to size.

Incase you haven’t already worked it out, yes we got a real tree. Different families have different traditions, different colour themes. We went, as my brother would say, abstract. In other words we got a massive green tree chosen by a three year old. Then we entrusted said three year old with the help of another three year old to decorate it. The temptation to re do it after they went to bed was real y’all.

I’ll be in charge of decorating my own black artificial tree. Complete with turquoise baubles. No sense of abstract here.

I have to admit it was fun though, seeing the start of Christmas through my nephews eyes. They’ve already mastered the art of stealing the chocolate decorations when they think no ones looking.

We even have random penguin and owl lights .

Every year I see endless posts by people showing of their perfectly assembled and decorated front rooms and trees. There’s no denying they look amazing. However, I think ours is better, mainly because it was made with the love and excitement of a couple of three year old boys, rather than perfectionist adults.

The setting up of the tree and seeing the lights has really got me into the Christmas spirit. Even if the festive season seems to arrive a little earlier each year, it’s difficult to stay bah humbug for long.

Have you got your tree up yet?

Charlotte

xxxx

chronic illness

Coping with chronic illness at Christmas – Blogmas #2

Unfortunately for everyone out there with a chronic illness, you can’t just switch off your health issues in order to take a break and really enjoy the holiday festivities.

It’s difficult to explain exactly what is chronic illness warriors go through or how we feel, but Christmas especially, can be an exceptionally difficult time. One moment you’re spending 90% of your time alone in bed. The next you’re expected to spend 90% of your time with family and friends, thrown in the deep end and an active participant in all the festive season has to offer. It can feel a little overwhelming to say the least.

So what are you meant to do? How are you meant to deal with it all? A lot of managing chronic illness comes from experience, something I seem to unintentionally gathered from years of trial and error. In today’s post I thought I’d share my best tips / tricks / advice for coping this Christmas.

Remember Medication

Remember doctors surgeries and pharmacies opening hours may change of Christmas and New Year. Make sure you have enough medication to cover you through this period and remember to take it with you when out and about or staying away from home.

Plan & Pace

As much as possible try and develop a clear plan of what you’re doing and when, who you’re seeing and how long for. Try not to plan to much in one go. Include rest / self care time in order not to crash and burn

Say NO / Communicate

If something’s too much for you, you know it’s going to cause you pain / discomfort or you’re just not feeling it. Don’t be afraid to say no. Friends and family should understand. If they don’t well…. However most of your nearest and dearest wouldn’t want you to make yourself ill. Is there a family member or friend you could talk to about your illness? Someone who could support you if you start to not feel good? Don’t suffer in silence. It’ll only make you feel worse.

Rest / Self Care

If you’ve managed to plan, then you should have included some rest time. For example if I know in advance that I’m doing something active or all day on Saturday then I’ll rest most of Thursday and Friday, as well as Sunday. Take the time to catch up on sleep, have a long soak in the bath, whatever makes you feel good. If you aren’t feeling good and looking after yourself, it’ll be difficult to enjoy yourself.

Accept

Acceptance is such a big part of life with a chronic condition and I’ve spoken about it several times before. We need to accept that our lives are different to how they were. We may have to do things differently or accept that we can’t do them at all. It’s not easy buy any means, but speaking from my own experience, accepting I won’t be able to do everything the average person would this Christmas, is a big pressure of my shoulders. I’m totally ok with not being able to go late night shopping. All those crowds, out in the cold, the checkout queues. I’m honestly fine giving it a miss.

Have fun

Enjoy yourself !!! Having a health condition doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with your loved ones. Live in the moment and make memories you’ll have for a life time.

Anybody got a tip they want to share?

Don’t let chronic illness ruin your Christmas.

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Charlotte

xxx