Fitness

Gym, Gains & Getting Going

It’s been almost a year and a half since I started my fitness journey. There’s been a whole load of ups as well as some downs that I genuinely thought I wouldn’t come back from. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve put myself in hospital and I’ve found a bunch of supportive as fuck, kick ass people.

I talked about starting this journey a good six months before I found a personal trainer and stepped a foot in the gym. My mind was torn between thoughts of wether I could actually do this and wether it even mattered what I thought, I just needed to do it

Honestly that first step was the hardest but also one of the best I’ve ever taken in my life.

When I first started it was off the back of being bed bound and I didn’t really have a goal other than to just get my ass there and survive.

Starting an exercise routine is hard enough as your average sedentary person. When you add some chronic pain, seizures and all the other health problems that can come along with them, it’s even fucking harder.

I still don’t have a specific goal other than surviving the session, but the affect regular training has had on me over the last 18months has been incredible, There may not have been some drastic weight loss transformation, but the changes physically and mentally have made every tear or panic attack worth it.

  • I’ve gained a lot more muscle and strength than I thought I ever would.
  • I’ve gained confidence
  • A good 80% of the time I can get off the floor myself if I have a seizure.
  • I’ve learnt the difference between good and bad pain.
  • Physically I cope with high pain days better
  • I’ve gained a little control of my diet. It’s not perfect but it’s also not total chaos.
  • I’ve learnt that weight / the number on the scale is not the be all and end all.
  • I’ve made some really close friends and finally on this list…..
  • I’ve proved in more ways than one I’m stronger than I thought

The main point of this post wasn’t just to tell you what I’ve learnt so far on this never ending journey…. (It’s a lifestyle y’all).

I also wanted to encourage others who may be thinking of working out, getting a personal trainer and taking that first step. Plus those who may be early on in developing a regular exercise routine, yeah it’s gonna suck at times but keeping at it may just change your life.

I dunno if you’ve found my rambling helpful or not. I deffo want to do more fitness type posts including fitness fashion. Us big boobed, plus size girls like to look cute while melting in our own sweat. #Facts

If you’ve got an idea or suggestion for a post let me know and until next time…..

Love Always

Charlotte

xxx

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Personal · Uncategorized

How Tattoos Increased My Confidence

Grab a cuppa, get comfy, because this is something I’ve wanted to share for a little while. Whilst the topic is primarily about tattoos, it’s not aimed at just those with tattoos.

Getting asked about my tattoos is a regular occurrence, both when live streaming and in real life. They’ve always been a great ice breaker when meeting and talking to new people, plus on the whole, generally people are very complimentary.

Of course, on the flip side there’s always a few negative comments / judgemental toned questions too.

“Why did you ruin your skin like that?”

“What do your parents think?”

“Tattoos aren’t very feminine, they definitely look better on males”

“Do they actually mean anything?”

“I’m sure you were so pretty before you did that”

Don’t even get me started on those people who think they’re entitled to just grab or touch your arm / leg (insert body part here) etc, in order to admire / judge your artwork. *Serious eye roll / face palm.*

The reasons people get tattoos are as varied as tattoos themselves. Some have a deep meaning or sentimental reasons for getting some ink done, others simply think a certain design is aesthetically pleasing. In this post I thought I’d share a long story short version of the meaning behind my own artwork.

I don’t really remember developing a love for ink. It just kinda happened. Whilst I’d had the odd piercing growing up, the moment I got my first tattoo I knew it wouldn’t be my last.

Growing up I struggled majorly with my mental health. I spent the majority of my teen years in and out of hospital desperately trying to gain some control over my eating disorder and self harming behaviour. Eventually at the age of 17 I was detained under the mental health act and forced to undertake intense treatment. It was only as I was deep in to recovery that I truly began to comprehend the damage I was doing / had done to myself. I’d essentially cut myself to shreds. The scars a constant reminder of the past.

I think I got the idea watching an episode of Miami Ink, or something similar. A young woman who’d also struggled with self harm was having a sleeve tattooed in order to cover up the scars. Through getting inked she was turning a really painful part of her life into something beautiful… I knew that was what I wanted too.

So at 18 I got my first tattoo and the rest as they say is history. Whilst I don’t have a sleeve, I’ve got a fair few individual pieces that take up some space. If you’re up close you can still see the scars underneath but very few people get that up close and personal.

Each individual piece has some sort of meaning. Whether it’s in memory of a friend or family member, a favourite quote or just something that means something to me.

I personally feel like my ink has increased my confidence. They’re a part of me and at this point I couldn’t imagine not having them.

So when people say I’ve ruined my skin or how I must have been so pretty before I got them done. The temptation to slap them is real because I know damn well my skin was ruined beforehand.

I don’t feel the need to explain my tattoo story to everyone who grabs my arm and starts to ask questions or make comments. It’s totally ok to not even have a story and just have ink because you think it looks nice. No judgement here.

Oh and how about we all just stop randomly grabbing each other’s arms / legs. It’s not ok. You wouldn’t do it to someone without tattoos, so don’t do it to those of us inked up awesome people. Just ask nicely if you’d like to have a closer look at their artwork. Generally being polite / basic manners go a long way. Please. Thankyou.

Whether you have tattoos or not I hope you’ve enjoyed this post.

It’d mean a lot if you followed the blog and maybe checked out my social media.

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Love Charlotte

xxx



Life isn’t about finding yourself . Life is about creating yourself.
chronic illness · Personal

I’m not perfect

I’ve written, rewritten and then written again this post I don’t know how many times. Maybe grab a drink because believe me, there’s a lot I want to say. I know from experience though it’ll probably come out a bunch of swearing ramblings with the point I was tryna make in the middle somewhere. I apologise in advance. However it’s all personal thoughts from the heart.

If you’ve read any of my posts here or on my ‘old blog’ www.missclx.com you’ll have noticed I tend to write exactly as I speak. So yeah, nothing I ever write is going to be the greatest piece of grammatical reading. (I bet you’re looking forward to the book already 😉 ) I’m never going to be the most perfect or most popular blogger. I’m just never going to be perfect in life.

In December 2017 I had every intention of doing blogmas. I had some great content ideas, was feeling festive and inspired… Then chronic pain took hold, like really fucking took hold. I’ve struggled for a long time with pain, but nothing and I mean NOTHING ever prepares you for the moment you contemplate throwing yourself in front of a car or straight up killing yourself two weeks before Christmas. YES I was in THAT much pain. If I got hit by a car, best case scenario I’d break both my legs, end up needing surgery and drugging up to my eyeballs. That would be enough time for the pain in my face to chill the fuck out. Worst case scenario, well we all know what that is, but hey at least I wouldn’t be in pain right? I’m used to the rollercoaster of up and down days. That day … was shit.

Here’s a little mind fuck for you… You get to a place where you feel comfortable in your skin and your body. Even if it doesn’t always work right. Then you have to start medication that causes an average weight gain of 40 pounds. You can be body happy and ill or obese and pain free, you can’t have both.. I bet you’re reading this thinking the answers obvious. To most it is, and to me it was too. Right now though I can’t help feel disgusted when in the mirror.

Charlotte this is sooooo depressing. Why are you telling us this stuff ? First of all people wanted me to write more personal posts. Second and most importantly of all as a way for me to express myself. Believe it or not that was why I started to blog in the first place….for me. Honestly I think a lot of bloggers / vloggers forget that before they turned their blogs into businesses, they were just safe little corners of the internet where you could express yourself. BE yourself…

I’m so sick of pretending to be something I’m not, whether it’s online, or in real life, all I want to be is me.

The only goal I have for 2018 is happiness. I truly hope to share my journey some of that happiness with you on here

I won’t promise you an upload schedule, because I’ll only fail and end up annoyed with myself. I really need to beat myself up less going forward. I do have some plans for a blog overhaul, new look etc as well as some cool content but I’ll keep you all in suspense.

Remember to follow so you don’t miss out !!

Love

Charlotte

xxx

Uncategorized

You Have The Power – Blogtober #13

Ok so this post is probably a) not what you expect it’s going to be and b) a little all over the place. Bare with me.

It’s hard not to log on to social media and be bombarded by cliche motivational quotes, inspirational life transformation stories. The if I can do it you can posts. I follow a lot of fitness models so believe me they’re there. You may have a little read, relate, hit the like button, but are you actually inspired? Or motivated? Are you gonna put out your morning ciggie and go for a run? (Yep I’m a dirty smoker)

I read a lot of articles while preparing to write this post and the general consensus was that posting quotes isn’t actually motivational or inspirational at all. It’s just a quick way of racking up the Instagram likes. 

Now I’m 1000% guilty of posting this type of content on my social media feeds. Not because I have any intent on inspiring anyone, but more so because I want to remember said quote myself.


Ultimately though any positive changes I’ve made in life have been down to me. My own real life experiences offer motivation. For example not being able to fit in my favourite jeans any more motivated me to lose weight.

The subject of weightloss leads me talking about body confidence. I’ve said a million times that I love a good selfie, and yeah, watching the number of likes go up on a picture certainly makes me feel good. Likes aren’t everything though. Likes won’t help you when you can’t stand what you see each morning in the mirror. 

I’ve genuinely known girls go out dressed in the most ridiculous and uncomfortable outfits. They aren’t happy but it looks good on Instagram right? We all need to start caring a little less about what our social media followers think and ask ourselves if we like what we’re wearing, if we feel good.

Confidence in general, or specifically body confidence, just like motivation and inspiration comes from within. It comes from you. No amount of quotes or likes can create it.

YOU HAVE THE POWER AND ALWAYS HAVE DONE !! 

Told you this post would seem all over the place but I hope it’s made some sense at least.

Charlotte 

xxx